This is an idea that I got from my therapist to show the gender spectrum and have a good idea of where I am on it. On the top you have Androgynous, or Gender fluidity, on the bottom you have agender or nonbinary, and on either side the “standard” binaries. He drew me this diamond and said to use it to describe what I identify as, to help me understand myself and my complex identity.
My first thoughts were, “well, I just really don’t want to be seen as a woman.” And over the years I have taken some more masculine traits that are a part of me now, (not shaving, confident bravado, rejection of female gender roles, etc.). Then I also considered just how much of a social construct gender is and how for the past four years, I also haven’t been choosing things or making decisions based on the concept of gender. They’re all just what I want to wear and do to express who I am. And so, my answer was not as simple as only one of the four.
Here we can see that I chose a bracket to the left of the middle. I chose this because I feel masculine most days, and closer to the middle, but not at all on the “woman” side. I also don’t experience much gender fluidity, but I feel androgynous in my gender. And the bottom area of the bracket shows how close I am to being agender, a devoid of gender identity that’s under the nonbinary umbrella.
Phew. I know, it’s a lot. This diagram helped me start to understand where I actually am when I say I am Nonbinary, and I hope it helps you understand where my identity is at this moment. While Nonbinary itself is an umbrella term to describe those outside of the binary, those identities are not cut and dry and can be complicated even to those with them. And I am still learning more about myself and my identity every day.
If you’d like more information on the complexities of gender, this TED talk I watched recently explains the differences between Sex, Gender Identity, and Gender Expression.