***Content Warning Dysphoria/Mental Health/Surgery***
So, this topic of Dysphoria I was going to lump together with gender expression just because my gender dysphoria plays a part in how I express myself to others. However, Dysphoria shouldn’t be taken lightly and is a very heavy subject that troubles me and many other Trans folks.
Gender Dysphoria according to Wikipedia is:
“A profound state of unease or dissatisfaction. In a psychiatric context, dysphoria may accompany depression, anxiety, or agitation. It can also refer to a state of not being comfortable in one’s current body, particularly in cases of gender dysphoria”.
This definition is pretty spot on. I experience “profound” distress about my body and it gives me more anxiety and more depression than I’ve had before. This is what a lot of gender variant folks get diagnosed now, while in the past they would usually get diagnosed with GID, or Gender Identity Disorder, which made Trans people seem like they were all mentally ill for being the opposite or another identity. Many are still diagnosed as GID, however, it does not have the same connotation as it did in the past. Many states and insurances still require the diagnosis of GID, because they are behind the times, or the patient themselves feel more aligned with GID than with Dysphoria.
A common misconception about Gender Dysphoria is that is simply someone who is insecure about their body. This is not true. Dysphoria in Trans folks are directly related to their body not matching their identity, and this can be debilitating. So much so that I have not been able to even look at my chest in the shower, and I bind my chest regularly to make it appear to others as if I have a flat chest, lest I will be seen more as a woman.
However, Dysphoria isn’t only physical. For most of my journey so far, my dysphoria was social Dysphoria. When my pronouns and preferred name isn’t used. When I am seen as something I am not, and feel worse for it. I am called something I am not, I am constantly told I am this woman and I am not. It is tiring and draining. And this dysphoria is completely valid as well.
I have gender dysphoria. I can’t stand my chest, my voice, and my hips and thighs. I can only do something about one of them. I can get top surgery. And while I am in therapy, I have to get a letter from my therapist with the dysphoria diagnosis If I ever want to have top surgery. Or, if I want insurance to cover it that is. Also, I only have a few limited options for where to go to get the surgery, since I will not be taking testosterone, and most surgeons will only do the surgery with testosterone in your body. It seems grim. But top surgery has saved so many Trans lives and has made them more confident going on in their life as who they are. It might even save mine in the future.
This is a video that I really relate to. Ash Hardell is amazing! Watch their other Youtube videos!
And I found one that’s good for info about binding your chest!!
https://www.betterhelp.com/ <–Online Therapy!
^^^^^Help Lines for US and UK!
Thanks For Reading 🙂