Singular “They”

The infamous singular They. They/Them/Their. You learned it in school. You thought it wasn’t necessary. But now non-binary people are coming out and now you whine about using the singular They, now that it has more of a purpose! Even though you’ve been using it all your life. When you don’t know if someone’s friend is a boy or a girl when you don’t know what’s happening in a tragedy and what gender the victims are when you want to address anyone who’s gender you don’t know.

Singular They has been right under your noses this whole time, it’s time to snatch it up again and start using it for your fellow non-binary folks. And not all non-binary folks go by They. Some still go by he or she, but still, maintain their non-binary identity. Our pronouns are simply a small branch of our identity, and whatever pronouns we choose, are the ones that we are most comfortable with. Not that describe our body type or identity. Some non-binary folks prefer more than one set of pronouns, giving you even more options to refer to your new non-binary friend. You’re soon on your way to saying singular They.

But Rhian it’s so HARD. And I’m here to tell you that is bullshit and you damn well know it. The English language and society, in general, is changing constantly. Better keep up or you’ll be left behind.

Here are ways that you use “assumingly regular pronouns” such as he/she:

She went to the store.

I couldn’t believe him.

He has luxurious hair.

She’s going bonkers.

Here are ways you can use singular “They“:

They went to the store.

I couldn’t believe them.

They have luxurious hair

They‘re going bonkers.

Is it counterintuitive? Maybe. But can you do it? Hell yes. If you could learn the alphabet you can do this. I believe in you!

Rhian, why are you so salty? Isn’t this passive tone a little rude?

One, I’m rooting for you, and every Trans Non-binary person is too. They want you to understand us. So badly actually. We are willing to wait and be patient for you to understand and to use our names and pronouns but we want respect. And we don’t want it to be based on what we “look” like. Our pronouns are valid no matter how we identify, and no matter where we are in our transition as well. Where we are in our transition is none of your business, only using our name and pronouns is your job to make us feel accepted and visible.

Two, the euphoria I get from people using my right pronouns and name is indescribable. It’s like realizing your true self every single time, and it’s wonderful. I want every Non-binary person to feel this way. And that is why I am so adamant. It is true it’s harder when you’ve known the person longer. A piece of advice I’ve gotten from a lot of Trans Youtubers like Chase Ross, he says to say their name and pronouns over and over in your head and it really will help. Associate the face with the name. Just like meeting someone for the first time.

Thank you for listening, and I hope you no longer have trouble using the singular pronoun They/Them/Their.

Love, Rhian.

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