Having Supportive Friends

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Friends. As an adult, they are very hard to find and keep. I consider my friends the backbone of being there when I need them, and I’m there to support them as well through anything they might be going through. I currently have five GOOD friends. And I mean good as in I talk to them regularly, share cat and animal pictures, and generally have a good time online and offline as well.

But other qualities that I look for in my friends are acceptance and open-mindedness. All of my friends currently have this quality. They are open-minded and ready to learn when I came out as Non-binary and have supported my gender expression and my current life goals. And this helps them in return too, because they are learning more and exploring more about their own identities as well.

But what do you do when your friends are discouraging you from your identity when they say you aren’t real and that maybe you’re just crazy. That’s when you know they are toxic. And this can be troubling. You trust this person to be there for you and they aren’t. They aren’t as supportive or open-minded as you thought they were. But don’t dismiss them quite yet. No matter how insistive they might be about how weird you are or how much they don’t accept you.

Try to think about what they could be going through themselves. We’re all adults, but we aren’t immune to feeling like we are the narrator and this is our personal story. When thinking like this, it’s hard to distinguish the fact that other people have an internal conflict that they aren’t telling you about. Through this possible internal conflict, you can give them the benefit of the doubt and give them breathing room, for they could apologize and change their mind to accept more identities, and you’ll be stronger friends than ever.

However, it’s important that if your friend continues to dwell on these horrible connotations at you that is hurting you emotionally, that while trying to work it out is good but if nothing is working it might be time to cut off from that friendship. This can be really hard. Especially when you are a sensitive person or if this person has been in your life for a long while. And if this is exactly what you were afraid of you could be wary of letting someone go because you want that support, even if they’re still just in your life.

As someone in the LGBTQ community, you deserve to have friends who accept you and are willing to learn from you and about your sexual or gender identity. I hope any friends that you make in the future are adults about any situation and realize that unconditional support will equal an unconditional friendship. And I hope that all of your friendships are everlasting and strong.

Thanks for Listening.

Love, Rhian.

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