Recently,  a friend of my dad’s got in touch with me who is a transgender woman. This talk made my day. She is one of my dad’s best friends and my dad supported her before I even came out. Hearing her story liberated me because she lives in the hard south where there can be no mercy for Trans individuals. It is brutal just trying to change your name or keep your job. I recently got my hours cut after I came out, but my struggles are nothing compared to hers. I’m not trying to compare struggles, hers just showed me that whatever obstacles that present themselves that I can make it through them, and come out stronger and more of myself than before.

I’ve decided for sure that I’m going to go on Testosterone. I am going to inject Testosterone because I need a lower voice and no shark week, and for other areas of my body to match what I see in my head. I’ve thought about drawing out my ideal body/persona, but I can’t draw for shit. So that was out of the question. But I know this is the right path to take. Because every day that I’m not making progress towards my transition I feel farther back than before I came out. And this pit in my stomach gets larger and larger. And it keeps me up at night.

As soon as I get a new job I am also going to start my legal name change process. I have been going by Rhian for a month now, and I love the name more every day. I have a long way to go. To getting top surgery, to fully transitioning. Which is what I make of it. And I am lucky to have family and a loving fiance that support me every single step of the way. I hope they see my transition isn’t about me changing who I am inside, but steps to my final ascending form.

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