I haven’t posted in a while…or made any articles in a while. But that doesn’t mean it’s a bad thing, I’ve just been busy. And happy, I suppose. Content with my life and what it contains.
However, I don’t stay that way for too long. My personality is very unstable in that once I create an image of myself, I get bored, or start feeling like my whole life is in a rut. For example my hair. I grow it out, (say for months that it’s gonna get to my shoulders), then right when it’s past my ear I chop off almost every inch. I’m a very impatient person as well, and if this image of myself isn’t realized in the proper amount of time, I get anxious and have to change it to something else, or back to what I know I like.
That may seem like an unstable way to live as myself, but I’ve managed it. There are some times where it even feels like I go back to likes/dislikes/other interests that I had when I was 14 or 16, or I’ll have multiple years where I listen to music regularly, then I just stop. I think this makes my life more interesting. I am one person, with a fluid personality. Even if this makes problems in my personal life as well.
Some problems this can make is others not understanding my feelings. I’ll be thinking about something and connecting a feeling to that something, but not actually express that feeling physically for months later. Then I’ll get frustrated with others for not having realized my feelings about it sooner, even though I had them pegged months ago, and they’re just now learning about them. Although, with this fluid personality I also forgive others easily as my feelings change rapidly, and find solace quicker when in a panic.
I think the only two things that have been constant in my personality so far, is my feelings of Dysphoria and of being Nonbinary, and my spirituality, being a witch or Wiccan. Both of these have been a persistent interest/feelings that I’ve had inside of me for at least 5+ years, which for me, is a pretty sure of myself feeling. It does feel really good to have these comforts to fall back on, even if sometimes I fall out of my spiritual practice, or feel inadequate,
I always have two things,
My beliefs, and My Identity.